The Cycle of Self Change

Denial is the first stage in the cycle of self- change. The vast majority of people whose health, happiness, or relationships are being threatened by a self destructive habit spend months, if not years, in a stage where they deny the seriousnes s of the problem.

People in this stage share the following characteristics:

· They refuse to admit that they have a serious problem.
· They resist change and usually become aggressive if confronted about the need to change.
· They have a general sense of hopelessness, no matter how busy their lives seem to be on the surface.

Many people who have self-destructive habits also suffer from feelings of distress. Research suggests that up to 50% of drug users have some form of depression. Misery loves company: We tend to form relationships with people who have our bad habit.

By spending time in a bar, people can convince themselves that it’s the normal way to unwind after a stressful day, since there are so many other people in the bar doing the same thing.

Research shows that clinically obese people are less likely to lose weight when they live with other clinically obese people.

Self-Destructive Behavior

Many people are so stubborn in their unconscious need to defend their bad habits that they refuse help even when their lives depend on it.

In Changing For Good, James Prochaska mentions a startling experiment done by a zoologist named Calhoun. Instead of using domesticated white mice and rats in his research, Calhoun studied wild mice to gain an insight into how they strive to maintain control over their own behavior.

In one experiment, Calhoun gave the mice an electric switch that allowed them to select dim light, bright light, or no light in their cages. When allowed to make their own choice, the mice avoided bright lights and darknes s; time after time, they turned on the dim light. But when the dim light was turned on by theexperimenter, the mice ran to the switch and turned it off. Then they turned on the bright light or left the cage dark.

In another experiment, the mice were given control of a switch that activated a treadmill, which was their only source of exercise. Caged mice need to run about eight hours a day to stay healthy. Without any prompting, the mice turned on the treadmill and ran at different times of the day.